Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Attention creationists:

Stay the hell out of my national parks.

Go ahead. Click the link. I'll wait.

Now let me put this in perfectly simple terms. Terms a kindergartener could understand.

If this does not enrage you beyond the definitive capacity of the English language, there is something deeply (and, if you'll pardon me one unintentional pun, fundamentally) wrong with you.

Preposterous bullshit like this is why I have such a huge problem with religion. Things like this are why I'm deliberately tailoring my book to raise the shitstorm of all time among the bible-thumper crowd. To indict the religious community for their wholesale vandalism of the collective knowledge of the human race. Apparently nobody else is willing to call them on the carpet about it. And I don't care what religion you are, either. This includes my former-fellow Neopagans as well.

You can believe whatever fabricated, fairy-tale, Mister-Rogers-Neighbourhood-Of-Make-Believe bullshit you want in your places of worship, but keep it the hell out of the domain of science and keep it the hell away from anything else that professes knowledge brought about by scientific observation. Your Kansas science textbook fiasco has muddied the waters enough for one decade.

And if you have that much of a problem with accepting the fact that the world has indeed existed for more than 6000, 10000, or whatever other ridiculous figure of years your Bible, Torah, Quran, or Book of Shadows (I told you you weren't safe) tells you it has, then might I suggest you seek the services of a degreed psychological professional and try to avoid unnecessary interaction with the world at large until you understand the difference between sanctimonious horseshit and real scientific theory backed by decades of study and mountains of tangible, demonstrable, quantifiable evidence.

We now return to your regularly scheduled Americhristian brainwashing.


Blogger Lady J said...

Yeesh. These folks put the "inanity" Christianity. (Or, rather, they would if that "a" wasn't there. Bah. Spelling gets in the way of humor again)

"former-fellow Neopagans," eh? So you've found Jesus at last, then?

(Please don't hurt me, it's 4:30 am and I can't sleep!)


In other news, er, busy tonight?

2:33 AM  
Blogger Aidan Novastral said...

"So you've found Jesus at last, then?"

You know, I actually have.

Weirdest thing, too. He was hiding at the bottom of a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli. Took me 45 minutes to get an explanation out of him, too, he was laughing so hard at what I guess was supposed to be the joke. To him, anyway.

I suppose this is ammo for all those people that find eating canned goods to be a "religious experience." We of the Cult of the Organic Soybean thumb our noses at you preservative-mongering rabble.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Lady J said...

I want to marry Neil Gaiman... He researched and found the whole thing to be a hoax:

So you can save your wrath for the next twitwits that come along!

2:44 PM  
Blogger Jorge Estebez said...

Dude, I love this post. People take for granted the fact that there must be an omnipotent being. The true fact is that *Humans created religion*. There is no secret that the first religion was *thought up* in about 2000 BC, and they only used that at first to put reasoning behind the Hindu caste system. Hell, all the other religions were made pretty much as an alternative so that they didn't have to worship Hinduism. I'm not saying that I'm atheist, because it's impossible to say that EVERYBODY else in the freakin' world is wrong, but I think I'm agnostic, since I don't think you can prove or disprove an otherworldly being.


11:58 AM  

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